Where the Lell were you?

It’s transpired that one Stoke transfer target slipped through our fingers yesterday after the player went AWOL.

Bayern Munich defender, Christian Lell couldn’t be found by his club after they’d accepted a late, £3m bid from the Potters.

I know we may not be Chelsea, but hiding behind the sofa with the curtains drawn and the lights off until 5pm seems a bit drastic. Maybe he just prefers sauerkraut to oatcakes?